THE SUN LEE SUNBEAM (BLOG)

although i’m more steadily getting it on with music, writing is my real true love. we’re more seriously involved on a deeper level, whereas music is my lifelong crush. each one excites and satisfies me in different ways. they both make me feel alive. i don’t think i’ll ever want to give either of them up. it’s a tough battle, giving each the attention they deserve, but a problem i’m glad to have.

i’m currently writing the fourth (and hopefully final) version of my third novel. i have high hopes that it will be my breakthrough work and create an understanding that i’ve been struggling to feel and convey my entire life. it’s the most personal work i’ve done. it’s not one of my children, it’s that thing inside me that makes me want to go on. to me, writing fills me with a sense of purpose; it’s the blood in my veins. without it, i might as well be dead. in fact, when i’m not working on a big writing project, the better part of me is.

funnily enough, all of my work is about people on psychological journeys, searching for the answer to something they don’t realize they have buried somewhere inside themselves. i’d like to think it’s more fun to read than it sounds, but that’s the underlying theme. i had an agent committed to selling my first two novels–‘mourning malyssa’ and ‘waiting for the music’–to publishers, but unfortunately, without much luck. i received hundreds of encouraging rejection letters from publishers who said that although they admired my writing, couldn’t find a place for my work on their ‘lists’. it wasn’t fitting into any of the categories well enough to enter the industry with. i’m now okay with that.

just like with any art, in my opinion, the easiest part is creating it. the difficult and grueling work is getting it out to the public and having someone believe in it enough to bank on. my old agent found my newer work more serious and literary than the other two and chose not to represent it. i was admittedly crushed, having to go through the tedious and lengthy process of querying for a new lit agent all over again. not to mention (but i will!) how confusing it was to learn that literature could be too literary. as it turns out, ‘literary’ is a genre. go figure!

‘o rly?’ was written while i anxiously awaited responses from agents who had requested samples of ‘the sleepwalking serial killer’. it was my way of letting off steam since i couldn’t really knock on their doors and kick them in the balls for not making my manuscript a priority. there are few things that do it better than banging out powerchords and howling about how tough life is. trust me. i’ve tried them all.

like most of our music, ‘o rly?’ was a way to lighten up heavier feelings. it helped me transition negative energy and frustration into something that felt really good. in the song, i could be a little cocky and live vicariously through it since i wasn’t able to kick and scream at the prospective agents in real life. not that music is fake life, but, well… it’s a more productive venting mechanism, is safer, and with less repercussions.

when i brought the song to the band, mary’s bass line immediately gave it a lift and made it more fun because she’s just good like that. her bv’s gave the chorus more depth–which it desperately needed. jeff had the great idea for me to start the song alone and for him to build up the tension with the drums, letting us all ride out the release like a surfer dancing on a gigantic wave. (think: “the humunga cowabunga from down unda”. if you get the reference, i kind of love you.) mike’s playful post-chorus riffs gave what would’ve been a straightforward punk rock song a more interesting twist. people actually dance to it now. the first time i saw that happen at a show, it blew my mind in all the right ways.

so, if you’re wondering about the title, see these. this one in particular.

below is the home recording when it was first written compared to how it ended up with the full band recorded at the moontower.

HOME DEMO VERSION:
written may 4th, 2008

ALBUM VERSION:
sped up and with the band, recorded in june of 2009

you can find the lyrics here.

xOx
jessica

disclaimer: this may not be the most interesting song story, but it was requested from stu–our beloved UK fan and supporter. if you find it a snoozer, feel free to blame him.